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Why Won't He Go Away and Leave Me Alone?

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#1 Sep 9 - 8AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Why Won't He Go Away and Leave Me Alone?

by Susan J. Elliott, J.D., M.Ed.
GETTING PAST YOUR PAST

The reason this is not a cake walk is that you haven’t gone NC, are allowing a confused and cruel person to call the shots and can’t figure up which way is down or up.

My first question is why you are allowing him to string you along? Love is an action. It’s what you do and not what you say. He wants what he wants when he wants it. Your wants and needs are of no consequence to him. He simply doesn’t care what you want or need (to be in the relationship or be gone). He simply cares about what he wants.

READ THE REST HERE AT Ms. Elliott's website:
http://gettingpastyourpast.wordpress.com/2009/09/07/mail-we-get-mail-whe...

Nov 19 - 11AM
Barbara (not verified)
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why won't he leave me alone?

SEE TOP POST & LINK ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help
Oct 4 - 10PM
quietude (not verified)
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RE: Why won't he go away...?

I don't want to temp fate, but rigid NC does work, I believe, in many cases. I have not responded to my ex since April when I got out of the hospital ~ what can I say, I was doped up! This is a long stretch, and the new record of him not contacting me ~~ almost 6 weeks now. YAY~ hey, I'm celebrating! I'm not naive enough to think he'll never try again, but I'm sure strict NC does tire SOME of them after a while.
Oct 4 - 7PM
cynthia (not verified)
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good reading thanks

this really applied to my situation. Mine didnt really want to see me but still wanted to keep in close touch, which kept my life on hold and in my miserable state, I copied and pasted this one, he didnt want me yet he didnt want to lose me either, horrible position to be in, because all they do is slowly torture you. I think they do this do ALOT of women.
Oct 6 - 1AM (Reply to #6)
Marie
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Cynthia

Your post touched home. I was in the same holding pattern after he dumped me. We had NC for a month but slowly he began calling again. At first my hopes were up thinking we'd make up but it was obvious he didn't want to be with me. I would torture myself thinking about why he kept calling me if he didn't want me. Once I stopped taking his calls and he became more involved with this OW it was the best thing.
Oct 4 - 7PM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
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they enjoy torturing & hurting you! ENJOY IT!

Psycho-Boy once got really frustrated with myself and my best friend during a chat. He started sex-talk and the 2 of us starting joking around and he got pissed off and us and left. I found out later he was talking to his GF in California & watching porn while trying to chat with us and he just couldn't multi-task. (Later he tells everyone my best friend and I were 'taunting HIM sexually' LOL!!!) So when I got a hold of him I asked him what was wrong and did he need to talk about it; thinking he was upset and being unaware at that time of all the porn, GFs, etc. He said "Do you REALLY want to know? You are JUST ABOUT SEX to me. That's it. Just SEX! So now leave me alone!" 4 days later he got in touch to tell me he was going away on business for a week, not to IM him and that he was 'very sorry' but he'd 'forgotten to take his anti-depressant for 3 days' and that was 'why [he] lashed out at' me. It was all B.S. - I saw him online all week (he didn't have the DECENCY to block me - it was like he was TAUNTING me that he was there but I wasn't 'allowed' to talk to him.) He was actually planning out his liaisons with his G.F. in California (who was originally a friend of mine!) and doing sex-chats... all on his company's dime. I guess he thought better of blasting me when he realized I could dismantle his little f**k-fest and was getting close to figuring him out. He had to REEL ME BACK IN. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Oct 3 - 2PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

why won't he leave me alone

SEE TOP POST & LINK ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Sep 9 - 9AM
justwantpeace
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i needed this

i needed this
Oct 5 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
4joys (not verified)
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When my N abandoned me and

When my N abandoned me and stole our very last penny, he wanted to start up this online relationship where he could stay at his mothers house but still chat to me everynight as if nothing ever happened. I couldnt handle that his caring was nonexistent. That he wouldnt do a thing about how he left me financially devastated. I also was self protective as I knew that if I remained in contact, he would soon tell me of his new interest and I don't think at the time I could handle that. No contact was all I could do to protect myself.