Lisa E. Scott

this hurts

this hurts
Posted Mon, 09/07/2009 - 09:24

N called to speak with daughter this morning. He talks loud so you can hear everything he says. Trying to coerse her into spending the day with him, his gf and her 2 boys. She said ,"no thank you". Then the boys got on the phone to tell her about their new toy and see if shell come over and play. She said "not today". N got back on the phone and said "gf, boy and boy (names) love you"

Daughter just said goodbye. It still hurts. I truely did not think he'd stoop this low. Then he said "tell mommy to get better". After daughter told him I wasn't feeling well.

I can't take this anymore. How do I stay strong. How do I go to my baby's soccer games with gf there?

I hate it that they hate me. I was given lame excuses for what I did wrong to end the marriage. Crossed my arms when he went to hug me? That's cruel and unusal punishment and cause for divorce. If I had known the d&d was going to continue I would have just stayed and put up a front for my daughter.

‹ grossot update CHECK YOUR CALL BLOCK FEATURE ›

Ah yes! But see there's that

Wed, 09/09/2009 - 20:19 — grossot

Ah yes!
But see there's that word - boundary. Not in a narc's vocabulary. Yes it was my day - my holiday.

~Give a Narc an inch and they become the ruler~

nolongercontrolled

grossot

Mon, 09/07/2009 - 09:58 — quietude (not verified)

Wow, this is truly a heart-wrenching thing to read. Your daughter truly sounds amazing, that she is able to disengage on the outside, although on the inside it's gotta hurt.
Hopefully, her annoyance of it all outweighs the hurt.

To be honest, who gives a rat's patootie if they hate, love or are indifferent toward you? They're effed up people - consider the source. My ex probably made up some sad story of how I did him wrong to his family. So there's a handful of people who think I'm an evil witch...good for them.

Even if you stayed, kids are smart-- she would have picked up on it anyway. Better to show her that mama is NOT going to take shi* from anyone in her life, and that you and she are more valuable than having to deal with daily abuse.
My son is now 25, and he is grateful to me that I left my alcoholic ex when my son was just a few weeks old. He knows that life would have sucked for him.

Your daughter obviously doesn't want to talk to him?? What about e-mails between you and he only to discuss your daughter if need be. I apologize if I'm not up to speed on the custody agreement...does she HAVE to talk to him?

why is he calling her inviting her over

Wed, 09/09/2009 - 19:42 — Dcrutche

Why does he think he can call her and invite her over just on some random day? Do you have a visitation schedule? If it isn't his day, he shouldn't be asking her to come over. I strictly enforce our visitation schedule so that I don't have to discuss it with him. This is a court-ordered boundary already in place for you to use. Use it!

quietude

Mon, 09/07/2009 - 12:14 — grossot

Thank you for your suggestions. Daughter is only 5. I'm sure I'd be the psych b**ch horrible mother if I had some excuse for her not to talk.
I have limited all contact to email only and he's turned that around to make me look like a bad mom by twisting the truths.

~Give a Narc an inch and they become the ruler~

nolongercontrolled

grossot

Mon, 09/07/2009 - 13:11 — quietude (not verified)

She's only 5?? Wow, what a smart cookie! I do hope a better solution presents itself in limiting the exposure. If not through the courts, let's hope he gets bored, or they move...or something. What a jerk.

Sending lots of good thoughts your way...hugs!

grossot

Mon, 09/07/2009 - 13:09 — Barbara (not verified)

I have limited all contact to email only and he's turned that around to make me look like a bad mom by twisting the truths

Why do you care about the opinion of a NON-HUMAN PSYCHO?!?!?!?!

discuss this with your therapist. He is still controlling you by proxy if you let this nonsense get to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily

"As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck