Thank you all
I'm new to this site. I want to thank all of you for not only your advice, your stories, links and most of all for a wonderful support system for everyone.
My story is much like everyone else on this board. Many Red Flags.... Verbal/emotional abuse for from the start, on dating sites and porn sites the entire time, no itimacy, no kissing, no sex and rarely emotions. He blamed everything on me and I was really messed up and crazy.
For 2 years I allowed this man to treat me like dirt and rewarded his behavior with staying with him. When I stood up to him, I paid dearly for it. He never hit me but the words and treatment were awful.
He has been married 3 times and many failed relationships. All of course the women's fault. I spoke to his ex wife, she told me he was a N and had many issues. I didn't know what that was. I started to research and found so many answers and this wonderful site. I've had NC for over a week now.
It has been hard but I know it is what I have to do. I'm also on low dose of anti-Dep. I've lost weight, lost the zest for life and there are days I'm so confused I don't know what hit me. I'm a mother of two college kids, have a great job, am very stable and used to love life.
I've read all your posts and I'm beginning to understand this horrible illness. Again, thank you........ :)