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Thank you all
I'm new to this site. I want to thank all of you for not only your advice, your stories, links and most of all for a wonderful support system for everyone.
My story is much like everyone else on this board. Many Red Flags.... Verbal/emotional abuse for from the start, on dating sites and porn sites the entire time, no itimacy, no kissing, no sex and rarely emotions. He blamed everything on me and I was really messed up and crazy.
For 2 years I allowed this man to treat me like dirt and rewarded his behavior with staying with him. When I stood up to him, I paid dearly for it. He never hit me but the words and treatment were awful.
He has been married 3 times and many failed relationships. All of course the women's fault. I spoke to his ex wife, she told me he was a N and had many issues. I didn't know what that was. I started to research and found so many answers and this wonderful site. I've had NC for over a week now.
It has been hard but I know it is what I have to do. I'm also on low dose of anti-Dep. I've lost weight, lost the zest for life and there are days I'm so confused I don't know what hit me. I'm a mother of two college kids, have a great job, am very stable and used to love life.
I've read all your posts and I'm beginning to understand this horrible illness. Again, thank you........ :)
Welcome thisisnotfun
September 6, 2009 - 11:17pm — James (not verified)And you are right fore these types of relationships are never fun..
He has been married 3 times and many failed relationships. All of course the women's fault.
You don't state if you married this abuser/loser. I hope not? Anyway welcome and yes there is much information on NPD and this cluster b disorder on this site, which should be able to assist you. No doubt his ex wife is correct and from what you wrote displays many of these traits of someone who suffers from a personality disorder. NC is very important for the longer you stay away from the abuser, the clearer you will be able to dissect the relationship and see the cause and effect from this dysfunctional relationship.
Good luck!
http://james-personalitydisorder.blogspot.com/
welcome
September 6, 2009 - 7:24pm — quietude (not verified)Welcome thisisnotfun...
You probably already know if you've been reading, this place is a wonderful resource to help in our recovery. Thank goodness for the people here who put so much time and effort into getting the information out on NPD, etc.
I know you feel you 'allowed' something to happen, but try not to be hard on yourself. We're all intelligent women who fell for a fake act...and thought we were with Mr. Wonderful!
Interesting speaking to the ex-wife! That's usually the case, it's tough to hear, but pretty validating, huh?
Good job on your 1 week NC milestone! Keep it up, and come here especially if you're feeling any contact urges...someone's usually around to talk ya out of it! ;)
Thank you. I thought I was
September 6, 2009 - 8:56pm — thisisnotfunThank you. I thought I was crazy. I thought I was worthless. I've hit rock bottom. My family and friends don't know what the hell got into me. This man is sick. He doesn't even care. Thank you again. I"m reading everythng I can and start counseling tomorrow. :)
thisisnotfun
September 7, 2009 - 1:45am — Barbara (not verified)peruse through ALL the pages of MESSAGE BOARD
read ALL the posts on MY BLOG
get Lisa's book
it'll sink in...
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CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily
"As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck
I did not marry N. He
September 7, 2009 - 9:00am — thisisnotfunI did not marry N. He wanted me to move in with him. I knew there was something really wrong but didn't know what it was. He was so depressed, moody and angry all the time. I got fed up with me being the enemy all the time. Speaking with his ex wife was the best thing I did. She really opened my eyes. My friends and family tried to make me see what a sick man he was but I loved him or thought I loved him. Now, I'm sick inside to think I could love someone who treated me so poorly. This site has helped me so much. Again, thank you.........