Getting my life back together, after Hurricane Narcissist hit it.
While being recently divorced after 17 years of marriage to a man, I come across the N. I felt no attraction to him. But felt a strange pull towards him. We worked at the same plant, different department. I felt uncomfortable in a werd kind of way whenever I can in contact with him. I felt he was always watching me. He was 50, but had a little boy look about him. Very confident and poised. I had never felt, or seen someone like him. He was considered a lover boy around the plant. And I was considered attractive by a lot of the men. But I would not date no one. One other upsetting thing was he seem he could be gay. (Which may be why he messed with so many women.) He would always string three or more by the nose. Mostly married women.
Then one day we went to a bar after work. About 12 of us. He was there. He invited some of us back to his apartment after the bar closed. I went. Me and my good girl friend. Well he made a move on me. I had too much to drink. . He insisted that I could sleep in extra bedroom with his soothing voice.He seems so perfect, so charming like a dream. Even the soft looks and quirks on his face. Something I had never encountered. I agreed to stay the night. He stated I could sleep in his bed. He would not touch me. So I agreed.
He kept giving me attention, and staring longingly to me. Once at lunch he pulls up at picnic table and played a song,"Are you ready to fall in love?' So four months later we are married.
I believe most of his family is Narcissistic. I feel strongly his Mom is. And she controls him like he is 5 years old. So from day one, it has been a problem. He once told me, I did not understand. His quote,"I do not care how you feel!" He said this with honesty in his voice.
The first definite sign to me, I was in a native land. He constantly flirted with females in front of me. Behind my back. And I said they could think you are coming on to them. He says I know how far to take it. It seems he like teasing them. And while using his action to cause me grief. He was enjoying the power and control he had over women. His Mother could not care for him or sibling. They were split up. I feel he was abused quite bad. And then dear old Mother comes back after he is grown. He acted though she was his wife. I believe in a strong bond with mother. But the "I love yous" were a little too strong with the tone. And every aspect of his life he shared with her.
Once we were considering buying a truck. Mother -in- law says,"Can ya'll really afford that?" I replied," We both work, and it is a decision we will make." It has been 12 months separated. Love hearing, and sharing! More stories to follow. Ones I know you will relate to. After my experience with the N I notice I can mimic some of his behavior. And the control over people, I once never had. I was just experimenting cause of what I went though, and curious.
People do not realize that emotional vampires roam the Earth. Devouring all who falls prey to their urges. I always considered myself smart and strong. Still do. But the N wanted to drain my smart, and suck my strength to himself. Until next time,"Guard your heart and thoughts,because thoughts give birth.