Lisa E. Scott

One bad part of my story that has been hard to get over

One bad part of my story that has been hard to get over
Posted Thu, 08/27/2009 - 07:35

http://survivorofmred.blogspot.com/2009/08/new-years-2006.html

‹ Umm my blog comments about my story are welcome ›

courtney

Fri, 08/28/2009 - 21:31 — grossot

Your story is so moving. Thank you for sharing. I hope you are getting grief counseling (or have).

He targeted you because you are strong and independent. But don't be discouraged. Continue to be who you are. I think, as you write, you will discover why things unfolded the way they did.

(((((((((hug)))))))))))))

nolongercontrolled

courtneyj

Thu, 08/27/2009 - 18:42 — ragingbull

First of all, I just want to give you a big hug. Actually, I'm tearing up reflecting on your story. I was pregnant in 2006, too. When I broke the news, he said some of the most vile things...

"We're going to pay a doctor to kill it."
"I want nothing to do with you or the baby."
"This is entrapment."

I wanted my baby. In fact, I remember being on the phone with him, staring at my prenatal vitamins and a copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting." I was scared, but I already loved the baby. Unfortunately, given his reaction and my not knowing what to do with such ugliness, I terminated a week later at home. I informed him of my decision and I never heard from him again -- no checking in to see if I was okay, no offering to help with paying for the procedure, nothing. It was a very dark period of my life. I still dream about the baby.

Well, he tracked me down 2 years later. How convenient.

I'm sorry you went through this, and every story is different, but I know the pain you speak of. It does get better. I am stronger and bolder because of this tragedy. I've learned to never give my power to the clueless -- and that is what he is.

All the best to you! *hug*

what an ass!

Thu, 08/27/2009 - 07:50 — dolce (not verified)

Not you. Him!

mr Ed

Thu, 08/27/2009 - 13:09 — cynthia

sounds like a real caring guy who cares so much about others, he should get castrated that would insure he couldnt get anyone else pregnant again from his loving acts, dump him, he is not human never look back look forward to the life ahead of you and bury him deep in a pile of garbage where he belongs Tell him you would be glad to help get him snipped with some fiscars

Reptile

Thu, 08/27/2009 - 19:26 — Dcrutche

What a creep! They really have no empathy. I am so thankful now that my ex N had a vasectomy, so he can't spawn with anyone. Our 3 children are amazing, because of me!

Please don't punish yourself for the past. You did what you had to do to survive. Forgive yourself. It takes more than a sperm donor to be a father.

Cynthia

Thu, 08/27/2009 - 13:27 — courtneyj

He has been gone for awhile. I just spent a day and half writing 35 pages about my story. I am not sure what to do with it. I was encouraged by lisa and barbara to post bits of it on here to get feedback and advice.

writing is good

Thu, 08/27/2009 - 16:48 — cynthia

good, turn to this site for support and recovery

writing as a way of healing

Thu, 08/27/2009 - 16:51 — Barbara (not verified)

One effective way to clear our mind is to write about our experience. Writing as a Way of Healing by Louise DeSalvo offers a way of helping us put our pain down on paper in a deep, creative way. Writing our story helps us process our fears and anxieties.

DeSalvo tells us that, “Writing that describes traumatic or distressing events in detail and how we felt about these events then and feel about then now is the only kind of writing about trauma that clinically has been associated with health.”

A healing narrative is a balanced narrative. It uses negative words to describe emotions and feeling in moderation; but uses positive words too”

It is the translation of emotions into language that does the trick. Although talking about our traumas also helps, it is harder to talk without someone to listen. In general, we have no such compunction about writing without a reader. In fact, believing no one will read it may make writing easier. To impact the immune system, it doesn’t matter whether anyone hears or reads the story, what the trauma was or how long ago. The effect is most measurable, however, when the event hasn’t been talked about.

The miraculous connection between writing and the immune system results from cracking through inhibition.

It seems that when we don’t speak the truth of our experience, we inhibit our emotions, and that inhibits our immune function. Keeping secrets and maintaining denial require physical energy, energy our bodies could use in healthier ways were it available. Not only does inhibition have physiological consequences, it precludes translating our experience into language. And, it is through language that we organize our experiences into coherent stories making them smaller and easier to deal with.

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CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily

"As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. B

keep speaking your truth!

Thu, 08/27/2009 - 13:44 — Barbara (not verified)

he's a douchebag

keep speaking your truth! I am going to post something on why victims MUST keep talking for you.

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CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily

"As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. B