TJ's story
TJ's story
I can't cut contact because of my daughter
I have recently divorced my N husband after 19 years of a horrible marriage and verbal raging and abuse, infidelity, etc. I started studying about narcissism 3 years ago when we started the divorce process.
Believe me, the best thing you can do is to have NO CONTACT, it really does help, but that's just not possible for many of us who have to share custody of children.
I battled this man for three years and finally got 80% custody. My daughter is 13 now and started having trouble with her dad (surpassed him in maturity) when she was 10. She's sees right through all of his ACT.
We signed the divorce and parenting agreement 1 month ago and the court took into account, my daughter's request to only see him every other weekend and vacations. (She asked to not see him at all, but long story with battling lawyers, etc) They said her testimony will have more weight when whe is 14 or 15.
My ex signed the agreement and is now degrading me and my daughter as much as possible; saying that we are ganging up on him and that he is SO hurt by the agreement, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I try to work out scheduling with him for our daughter (via only email communication - paper trail) he is contstantly sending me rage attacks via email and always threatening to catch me in contempt of court for violating the agreement. ( I am following it to the letter).
I don't know what to do work with him any better. I am just going to keep all the correspondence and if it stays like this after some time, I will take him back to court to try and get full custody. I am hoping my documentation of his rages and constant breaking of the parenting agreement and testimony from my daughter when she is older will work.
Is there anything else I should be doing at this point? He lives 2 houses down from me (his choice) and he is getting even more psycho after he "lost" the divorce battle that I am becoming, for the first time, actually afraid of his rages - that all his verbal talk might turn into physical.
Any advice on dealing with an N because you share custody would be appreciated. Silly me, I thought it might get a little better after we were officially divorced.
Thanks for sharing!
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