In the past two weeks two associates have contacted me. One I have knows for about 2 years and the other I just recently met.

Old associate story:

Having not spoken with her for about a month I ran into OA (old associate) and she started telling me about how she had her children taken away because of the police being called to a DV (Domestic Violence) and had to spend 30 day in the cook county jail. OA been having problems with her husband who at one time left her and their five children a few years ago. After husband lost his job and all income came back and beg her for a second chance. Because OA husband is a drug addict I told her not to allow him back in until he went through a drug treatment program. OA didn’t listen to me so....

After she found out that once again he cheated on her and wanted to bring his new gf over to have sex with her in their apartment they got into a fight. By my OA account he attack her first by punching her in the back of her head. She then “snapped” and got a beer bottle and broke it and cut her husband around his nose. The husband then called the police and because of his cuts the police of course arrested her. He now has four of the children but gave the youngest back to her after she was release from the cook country jail. She is now facing a RO (restraining order of protection) and a DV arrest court dates...

But what I learned today is that OA is now dating another guy who shows a lot of red flags and I told her I believe she shouldn’t be sleeping with him at this time and to please be careful.

Think she will listen this time?

She is now asking me to write a deposition for her addressing the RO which is only a civil matter. I did advise her to get a lawyer concerning the DV. I am at this time not sure if I will help having done it before concerning other legal paperwork and having a hard time collecting my fee. I told her I would think about it...

New associate story:

Her husband left her in May 21 of this year. The NA (new associate) has been emotionally and psychologically abuse by her husband for many years. In the many years they were married the NA has told me they only have sex 12 times. Also, because of the way he treated her and emotionally broke her I believe she suffers from PTSD. The NA also agrees with this. The NA did threaten her husband one night when she “snapped” and told him she would throw hot boiling water on him and cut him with a knife if he wouldn’t stop yelling at her all the time. NA told me he would come home each night and verbally abuse her. These events happen in March of 2006. But after him leaving her the husband file a RO on her. I believe because the husband waited two-month and other issues about the case that she has a good case in her favor. I will help her with the deposition and try to help her get into some kind of therapy for the PTSD and other emotional stress she is experiencing.

I hope by sharing these two stories it will remind members to keep the NC policy. Never give your abuser a reason to turn the law against you for they will do it in a heartbeat. Never put yourself into a position where you too could "snapped". Not only will they take your heart but they may also take your freedom and smear your good name.