Melinda Zuhl's story

Wow where do I begin...I have been in an out of relationships, finally I decided I must be doing something wrong. I said I would drop the flag and let someone in.

After 3 attempts I decided to out with HIM the Narcissist! Did not have a clue what this was until today, when my girlfriend called from Michigan and told me.

He was a charming well spoken, Intelligent man. (with a degree)...He wrote a couple of books and published. Smooth talker. I found everything very exciting and attractive. I went on several dates and we got along super.

A couple of months came and gone and he moved in.. with his daughter. He convinced me to cash in my 401 k and he did as well. mine double his. I was in my head in it for the home run. Dedicated. wanted it. I would have done everything and anything to get there with him.

I worked extremly hard at work and home to keep it together, I have three children as well. I noticed the control thing right away. I noticed "the do not speak unless your spoken to" attitude as well. I just let it pass. Nieve to the comments.

It only gets worse... as we disagree about everything, how to raise the kids and what to cook for dinner, everything had to be his way or no way. When we would go out he would start dancing to get peoples attention and at odd almost embarrassing moments...(dinner everyone is eating) Air guitar was the worsed. Mind you this man is 42.

We were once at his family members home and a girl ask him why has he not made an honest women out of "me". I laughed kindof under my breath because his crude answer he always says to me is that he will not marry me cause I smoke cigerretts. When he has one lit smoking away while telling me this."he smokes as well" But that day he said something else....he said because I can not stand my f'n kids. My mouth dropped to the ground. I cryed all the way from North Carolina to Florida.

He has a ficsation on porn and me being with another women. Which I told him that would never happen....He has threatened me by sying he would have to leave me if I did not, I would find him up at night watching it and it would discuss me. Over and OVer it would make me feel I was not pretty enough....but I love this site because it has shown me that it is not me anymore. He has called me fat or I am going to have to put a lock on the frig cause youve gained weight. All of this was a graduall thing that would happen overtime...He would try something new each month, Just to see my response or a friend (if we were over there). The latest Is that he has a friend recently divorced...He thought about sharing me/offering me to his friend.

Once we were at his friends and he would not let me talk to his wife/ he had to but in every time I tried to speak(about sewing some cushions for her stools). He had the fix for the stools!!! I was not part of it. He wanted the attention.

He works out of town and he comes home on the weekends and sometimes he does not. He has threatened and said some realy mean things in front of people and alone... I am tired of his threats of not paying the rent or you going to do it my way or else. I can not handle not having a voice any longer. Friends family and complete strangers see how wonderful he is at the beginning of a friendship or whatever and then how everyone has told me that he blossoms into this complete control/life of the party/user/theres more/bottom line freak!

I feel like the laughing stock of Tallahassee/Crawfordville/Sopchoppy. Because I was so dedicated to this man that I thought loved me but he is uncapable of giving any kind of love and commitment to me or anyone else. He is what he is a NARCISSIST/and physco.

I need to get my life back and I am going to do it!!!! I need steps to get it done. I will be strong and post more blogs as I go. you can find me on myspace and facebook...I need all the support I can get!