rll1997's story

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#1 Jul 27 - 12AM
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rll1997's story

m not sure if my ex was a narcissist or not. He exhibited some of the symptoms of a narcissist but not all of them. As far as I know he never lied to me. When I asked him a question and the truth would have gotten him into a lot of trouble, he would tell the truth. He was faithful, always returned home after work and never went out at night.

What he did have was a great sense of entitlement. Expected everything to revolve around him. Did not like it when my attention went to someone (even my own child) or something else. Demanded to know where I went, who I spoke with and what I talked about. Once I didn't tell him about a trivial statement that I made to someone and when he found out about it all hell broke lose. Would get suspicious if I did something that he thought wasn't consistent with my usual routine and would interrogate me about it for hours. When I told him that I thought he was delusional and paranoid he said that it was me that would caused suspicion.

I couldn't do certain things the way he thought they should be done and would criticize. I couldn't fold his clothes correctly so he would do his own laundry. Couldn't load the dishwasher correctly. Would interrogate me why I did something a certain way when his way would have been better. (How could I have known what way he would have done something?)

We were together for six years and he only worked a total of 2 1/2 yrs. Would do things around the house like start big projects but never finished them. Most of the time just laid on the couch watching movies.

When I disagreed or challenged him he would get physically abusive like shoving me hard into the counters of the kitchen or walls. Hold me against the walls and yelled into my face. Jumped on me pushing me into the bed or trying to tip me off the bed. Pulled my hair. Kneed me in my lower back while lying in bed.

When we went to marriage counseling one of the counselor told him that she found him to be one way. He raged at her and then walked out. She later told me that she thought that he was crazy and dangerous. Crazy was the exact word that she used, not me. The second counselor asked us to leave because my ex was going on and on about something until I got upset.

The last straw was when my son finally was getting child support from his father and I asked that half of the support go into a savings account for him. By this time I was so far into debt and I hated to think that my son's child support was going to support the family. I finally asked that we put the money aside for him that my ex gave me the check book and all the debts and told me to deal with it. He on the other hand opened up his own checking account and put whatever money he had coming in (like money on a rental property that was his previous home)and money that he was getting working. When I asked him to help me out paying the utilities he got angry and thought that I was being selfish. Besides I needed the utilities for me and my son anyways. So in the mean time I paid all the utilities, his car and medical insurance. Until one day I told myself that if I didn't ask him to leave I would have no self respect left. So I did. He's been gone for almost two years and we have been divorced since 04/2008.

Sorry this is so long, but I just wanted someone else opinion. Is he a narcissist? Or could he have another personality disorder?