April's story
April's story
The Motivational Speaker
It has been almost a year... Actually 10 months. I have read so many self help/spiritual books. Actually part of the problem was that we met at a spiritual retreat.
He was an aspiring coach and motivational speaker. He was a tall, dark, amazingly handsome native american. He was well spoken with a captivating presence that sucked people in. In fact, everyone adores him, almost everyone. My friends and famiily grew to despise him. But, in my community he is highly regarded and has quite the following on Twitter and speaks regularly at events.
He was unemployed when I met him. Guess who is unemployed now?? That's right, me. I lost everything, most importantly myself. I was a one time wellness coach that was a trained therapist.
I too was subject to a N. I was convinced he was my soulmate. We shared everything with deep intimacy. He was so extremely spiritual that I thought he would never turn into what he was at the end. CRUEL. I suffered in silence. Much like everyone has mentioned, I craved him for so long. It is not like losing a regular relationship. I feel hollowed out.
I smile at appropriate times and sometimes socialize, but it is an act. I couldn't really explain it to anyone if I tried. Not really. I am numb almost, yet other times still in such pain.
He seems unscathed and is enjoying his new found success. I am lost and broken. I don't know how to come back. I was spiritually disillusioned, which had always been my resting place.
It occurred to me tonight- I think I have PTSD. For being a past therapist, I am a little slow. :) Thanks everyone for being so candid. It helps.
they're consummate actors
No, you are not alone and
April
False self