cassiemay's story

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#1 Jul 22 - 2AM
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cassiemay's story

Hi everyone,

I've been separated from my husband for 2 and 1/2 years now with the divorce dragging on and on due to his recalcitrance and delaying tactics. I am so sick of it all. Anyway, I'll be forthright and simply say that we have been married for 23 years (21 before the separation) and he has truly been a complete asshole since then.

I have tried and tried to be responsible for my errors, mostly consisting of being depressed upon our latest move to another state. He is a physician and was always working. I tried to integrate into my new life, having moved with him yet another time. I struggled. I volunteered at several different non-profits and did the best I could, truly.

Nevertheless, I was depressed and my medications weren't working anymore. I talked to him (the physician) about this and his response was nothing except criticism about how I needed "drugs", i.e. antidepressants, and shouldn't need that. He, after all, had pulled himself up "from bootstraps".

I interacted with him a couple of weeks ago and asked him why he had been so contemptuous and disdainful and what he said was "I don't love you anymore and haven't for several years. I always told you I didn't want an overweight wife". (Yes, I am about 25 pounds overweight).

So... I just ask you for your feedback. He also admitted he had been "emotionally" involved with another woman prior to our separation and slept with her 10 days thereafter.

I'm just obsessing, which I don't want to do anymore because it makes no difference and I would never trust him again. The whole weight thing has me flabbergasted. I always said "that is so shallow" and his response was, "well, I told you that when we got married...."

Ok, I realize I should have taken better physical care of myself. I am to blame there. But if someone really loves you do they reject you for being overweight? I know this is a hot topic but would appreciate any feedback.

BTW, he fits all other definitions of NPD and I do not say this lightly. Just trying to find a way to move forward...