tell him again or just keep ignoring?

tell him again or just keep ignoring?
Posted June 5, 2009 - 9:38pm
0

I have put in writing (multiple times) that i would like him to keep all communication to the topic of our son. He ignores me,well he does it less frequently, but still does it, and puts other messages into his emails/texts. My mom was telling me that she thinks i should remind him again about the comm. But i was thinking i should just completely ignore it and only respond to stuff aboput our son. What do u all think? Do u think that there is any legal benefit tocontinuing to remindhim? Our divorce isn't even rolling yet...getting close to filing papers and i have my own place now...anywyas, thanks for your advice!

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Carolyn's picture

You are independent from him

June 7, 2009 - 6:13pm — Carolyn

You are independent from him and if he choses, after you asked him to limit his comments to issues of parenting-then skip it. You can't control another adult and it just keeps the dance going round and round. Just respond to what you have to respond to and totally ignore the rest.

when the divorce gets rolling you will need a lot of strength and endurance. Also patience and a sense of humor. he will go from blowhard to victim in seconds and you will become the bad guy. Just remember all things come to an end and he is one of the those things on the schedule to go bye bye.

Hang in there you are doing great.

startnew's picture

Thanks

June 6, 2009 - 3:46pm — startnew

thanks everyone! your responses gave me the reassurance that i needed!

Barbara's picture

start new

June 6, 2009 - 8:58am — Barbara (not verified)

No benefit reminding him. You're mom is dead wrong - and remind her and yourself he's NOT A NORMAL PERSON. NOT NORMAL.
Just when he ignores (he's an N so he has ZERO boundaries) either:

1. ignore him and delete or hang up
2 do grossot's - send your attorney's phone number.

He heard you - he just doesn't care.

Don't give him the fuel to know he's annoying you - he will just continue & step it up then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
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http://one2one4victims.webs.com/

quietude's picture

startnew

June 6, 2009 - 12:47am — quietude (not verified)

You put it in writing - I would tell your lawyer this, that you've repeatedly requested this and he continues to ignore it. No, I would not do it again, let your lawyer remind him! It's not like he's forgetting, he's ingnoring your wishes and disrespecting you.
And if your lawyer needs to add legal threats in there, then so be it. Even though your divorce hasn't quite started yet, you're setting the stage and building a case. Your lawyer should be more than willing to be your liaison on your behalf.
Good for you, you're handling things wisely.

grossot's picture

do they learn this in N 101?

June 6, 2009 - 12:35am — grossot

My N does the same thing about communication. Every time he he mentions something other than our daughter I just reply with my lawyers phone #! He got sick of it havnt been harrased (except for about my daughter) in about 2 weeks!
nolongercontrolled

RenewD's picture

Communication

June 6, 2009 - 8:04am — RenewD

I think if you remind him again, that lets him know that it's bothering you and thats what he wants. I'd say ignore the non children parts of his emails and respond only to the parts about the kids.
I know the stuff they say is hard to ignore. It's hard to not let it get to you. But you have to somehow make yourself skip right over that stuff and act like it was never even there.
~Denise~

Lisa E. Scott's picture

Startnew

June 6, 2009 - 10:15pm — Lisa E. Scott

I agree with everyone. Do NOT remind him because it will only encourage his behavior. I love Grossot's approach of responding with lawyer's phone number every time he communicates something that doesn't involve child(ren). Great idea! Hang in there and know we're all here for you! Big Hugs, Lisa