"So and so says I should tell you more about my past so you can really understand me, I'm not making excuses but she thinks it would help" (so and so was the older woman who was supposedly his surrogate mother, in reality they were having an emotional affair).

This was after he'd already told me about the way he was treated badly by his mother, and the years of institutional abuse he'd suffered (he did have a horrific childhood). But I hadn't let him use it as an excuse for treating me badly. I dunno... I think for some reason some part of me finally clicked-in and thought "I'm having a really hard time personally at the moment, I grew up in an alcoholic family, and yes, I know your childhood sucked, but that doesn't mean I should be your whipping post".

He kept trying though. He used it with everyone he was involved with.

SEE LINK IN TOP POST

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"Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.