Several major decisions in my life have been based on health insurance. I haven't been seriously ill until two years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

With all three of my children's births, insurance was a major factor. This was due to the fact that we were a single income family for the first six or seven years and that I had very specific ideas of the kind of births that I wanted. We used the Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth with all three and that took extra planning with hospital births. I finally really got my way with Nora Jane, my third child. Hers was a water birth at a free-standing birthing center. I was able to use our insurance coverage to pay for most of that birth, whereas with the other two I had to have hospital births to get it covered by insurance. We couldn't afford to have a midwife in those early years and our insurance didn't cover it.

I have always been an advocate for mine and my family's health and have always tried to make informed decisions about conception, birth, breastfeeding, nutrition, etc. Imagine my surprise and horror when I was diagnosed at 38 with stage III invasive ductal carcinoma. I was immediately told that I would have to have a mastectomy and chemotherapy. It is a long, long story with a happy ending. I survived and I am feeling great physically. My three children are all healthy and are doing well. My marriage didn't fare as well.

My husband works for a University that has great insurance coverage. We are all covered by his plan for a reasonable monthly premium. All of my treatment, my surgery, and my reconstruction were covered with some extra effort by both of us during my treatment. My Oncologist is wonderful, but my surgical options here were not great, so I went elsewhere for my surgery and have a great result.

I have been separated for over a year now, and I am staying married for as long as I can so that I can continue to be covered under my husband's insurance plan. In our State, to get a no-fault divorce he has to have grounds to divorce. Therefore, he has to stay married to me until 18 months have passed since our legal separation. This is an awkward place to be, but the peace of mind of having insurance coverage is worth it. All that peace of mind for only $79 a month. That is what it costs my STBX to keep me on his insurance, and he wants me to pay it.

This is who the person I married has become. The person who I have been with for more than half of my life and who I had three children with. The person who knew my parents and my grandparents, all of whom are now gone.