Profile Info

Age Range

40-50

My Story

I was married for 18 years. He's not the problem now. We were separated for 4 years, then I waited another year after the divorce before dating again.

I'm embarrassed to put this story into writing. This is my first time dating since I was 18. This guy swept me off my feet. He'd been divorced 8 years. It was roller coaster. The highs were so high. I felt so wonderful. I have not felt like that ever in my life. This guy has money, looks, power and he knows exactly what to do with them all. The lows weren't so bad at first. He would just push me away. Forget to call when he said he would. Make plans then "forget" about them. He takes ambien he said, makes him forget. He was gun shy he said. His wife had cheated on him. I had had the same thing happen to me and could totally empathize with him. He had suffered a heart attack while trying to keep his marriage together. How awful I thought. How devoted too. After 3 months of the ride I called him out asking why the games every 2 to 3 weeks. I told him this was hurting me when he does it. He said he'd been diagnosed bipolar 2 years ago and pulled out a book that his previous girlfriend had been using as a relationship manual called "when someone you love is bipolar"

I was devasted

He said he didn't want to hurt me or treat me like sh** anymore and was going to get help and started seeing a therapist. He told me the new therapist told him he wasn't bipolar but he was depressed with narcissistic tendencies. He goes weekly and we had been doing great until New years. He wanted to go away for the weekend with me and some friends. I got sick and declined. He didn't talk to me for days. Once we finally talked and I told him I loved him he dumped me stating he wasn't ready, he was so very very sorry and never wanted to hurt me.
The pain was incredible. Overwhelming actually. I wasn't this messed up after my divorce from my lying, cheating ex husband!!
Now I'm chasing him. We went out a couple of times this past weekend. He thanked me for still talking to him and not hating him. Then he texted me after taking me home saying he could change. He said maybe we could go to the show this weekend. That was 5 days ago and I haven't heard from him.
I am so confused. The pattern fits everyone elses story. The intense drama, gifts and affection lavished overwhelmingly so then sudden withdrawal. We went from 30 texts a day to 1 a week. No contact in between. Now it's been 5 days. I sent him a funny email 3 days ago, no response. I don't know if narssisic tendencies can be treated. I don't toss around the love word and I meant it when I said it. After reading this site I don't know what to do.

Gender

Female

History

Member for

15 weeks 1 day