The aftermath of Technicolor delusions

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#1 May 14, 2017 - 4:32pm

The aftermath of Technicolor delusions

Hello, everyone. Dated a girl for 8 months, "broke up" in January. I'll tell the whole story in the other forum. Got "All About Her" today. Read the first chapter. It's amazing how much it is exactly like her and how someone has figured this all out. She made me think I was the crazy one. I started seeing a therapist and got on Zoloft.

My question right now is why do I still want to be with her? Why does it matter so much to me to make her see I'm not crazy? We had a big text argument Friday and she said "There's zero chance of me texting you again." How true do you think that is? I predict she will get drunk again in a few weeks and text me, but now I'm onto it. I understand she is a narcissist. I do still love her, but I know that we can't be together. Why do I care so much about what she thinks of me?

May 19, 2017 - 3:04pm

Thomas

Excellent response from WasIThinking:

"You care so much likely because you are a caring, empathic, compassionate person who wouldn't want a valued person in your life to ever give up on you ... so you treat others with the same respect you want for yourself. The issue is that there is a zero chance likelihood of reciprocity, empathy, or compassion from your narcissist. "

So spot on! I'm glad you finally see her for who she is and know that you deserve better! Please know you're not alone and we all have been where you are. Acceptance takes time, but we're here to help you do that so you can move onward and upward. You deserve it!

Love & Light,
Lisa

May 16, 2017 - 2:21am

Thomas74,

Thomas74,
Thank you for sharing. You care so much likely because you are a caring, empathic, compassionate person who wouldn't want a valued person in your life to ever give up on you ... so you treat others with the same respect you want for yourself. The issue is that there is a zero chance likelihood of reciprocity, empathy, or compassion from your narcissist. The love they once bestowed on you was shallow and an act because it was ... and will always be a facade ... a big Broadway show, an act of mean falsehood delivered to you to manipulate you. That makes us all sad and angry. Let it out. Cry and rage because it's wrong, but live each day KNOWING you deserve a love that supports you and makes you feel safe.

Respectfully,
WasIThinking

May 16, 2017 - 2:21am

Thomas74,

Thomas74,
Thank you for sharing. You care so much likely because you are a caring, empathic, compassionate person who wouldn't want a valued person in your life to ever give up on you ... so you treat others with the same respect you want for yourself. The issue is that there is a zero chance likelihood of reciprocity, empathy, or compassion from your narcissist. The love they once bestowed on you was shallow and an act because it was ... and will always be a facade ... a big Broadway show, an act of mean falsehood delivered to you to manipulate you. That makes us all sad and angry. Let it out. Cry and rage because it's wrong, but live each day KNOWING you deserve a love that supports you and makes you feel safe.

Respectfully,
WasIThinking

May 16, 2017 - 2:21am

Thomas74,

Thomas74,
Thank you for sharing. You care so much likely because you are a caring, empathic, compassionate person who wouldn't want a valued person in your life to ever give up on you ... so you treat others with the same respect you want for yourself. The issue is that there is a zero chance likelihood of reciprocity, empathy, or compassion from your narcissist. The love they once bestowed on you was shallow and an act because it was ... and will always be a facade ... a big Broadway show, an act of mean falsehood delivered to you to manipulate you. That makes us all sad and angry. Let it out. Cry and rage because it's wrong, but live each day KNOWING you deserve a love that supports you and makes you feel safe.

Respectfully,
WasIThinking

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