Narc at work but I was romantically involved with him, need advise (Love issue)

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#1 Mar 21 - 2AM
npdabuse_85
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Narc at work but I was romantically involved with him, need advise (Love issue)

Hi All,

I am new to this forum, like most of those who have gone through.

I was in love with a colleague at work, he did the typical idealise, devalue and discard cycle.

First 3 month were wonderful and then his personality issues started creeping. Lots of lies and hiding of information. He told me that he was done with his ex but was still in touch with her everyday. His excuse was that she has cancer. I tolerated and believed that he genuinely meant to support her health.

Then, he started accusing of having past affairs with other colleagues. He did this very often.He would stalk me on work skype and whatsapp and check who is online while I am online.

Big trouble started when he told me that his ex is coming to stay with him and she wants to talk to him about closure. This was really odd. I asked him what was the need to stay at his place, his excuse was that she helped him setup the place. He always told me that she was crazy and never understood him. She stayed. I kicked and screamed that he should ask her to leave but he didn't. She stayed for full two weeks.

Things changed from there on. I started resenting him. He tried to win back and I did go back more than 3 times. But, I couldn't move past the hurt.

He would get very mean and say hurtful things when I argued. He would call me crazy and that I have lost it and that I need therapy.

Last Friday, was the biggest showdown. I had completely lost it. I was upset and he didn't care he said he has work and he can't do this all the time. I completely lost and took off on him. He kept accusing me of issues. Things got so bad that I cried the whole night and my pulse rate was higher than normal.

I called him continuously to tell him that I am getting hospitalised but he didn't care. He didn't even return my calls and he didn't check if I was ok or dead. After I was out from the hospital, I blocked him everywhere.

He hasn't hoovered which is fine.

My main issue is that I work in the same office as him. We work in separate departments. I have been no contact for last 6 days. I am worried that he will start causing trouble for me on the work front. E.g. he didn't copy me on an important email, he will talk badly about me to other colleagues, he will be rude at work etc.

This is really affecting me. Your advice to help me here will be truly appreciated.

Mar 26 - 11PM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Narc at Work

Mar 26 - 9AM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Narcissists often target those in vulnerable positions

Mar 26 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
npdabuse_85
npdabuse_85's picture

Thank you, Goldie! I will

Mar 26 - 11PM (Reply to #5)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

As always....

Mar 21 - 9AM
Sun2fpower
Sun2fpower's picture

Advise

Flowerpower

Mar 26 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
npdabuse_85
npdabuse_85's picture

Thank you, I have started