narcissists and facebook

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#1 March 11, 2012 - 6:48pm

narcissists and facebook

I'm wondering what everyone thinks of this? My N has really been going nuts with facebook since the break up. Posting pictures of him and his new gf. Announcing his engagement on facebook. Changing his profile picture to cheesy photos of him and this new woman. This is all in a period of 6 months.

I blocked him on facebook right away but the N's friends felt the need to keep me updated. They felt the need to let me know they thought he was "insensitive" etc. I've resolved the issue now (told them to stop contacting me). I'm maintaining NC w/ only a few slip ups.

March 12, 2012 - 5:41pm

Torture tactics!

That's what I likened it to when OW did all the posting n pictures and the lovely dovey crap that they wrote to each other she kept it all public! Stopped about 6 months ago though guess the novelty wore off when she realised I don't give a shit! Either that or his mask is slipping and she no longer wants to look an idiot!!

Anyway NC is the only way forward xx

March 12, 2012 - 2:23pm

i don't use facebook, but

i don't use facebook, but last year...post breakup...'well meaning friends' (minions) kept me abreast of his nonsense. he was bashing me on his fb page...etc...all in hopes it would get back to me so i'd flip out, and text him. it worked one time, and that was the last time he ever heard from me again. he tried failed hoovering attempts ever since.

your 'friends' aren't really friends, if they feel the need to rub your nose in your ex's business. so, delete them out of your life, too. that is a very hard thing to do. almost like i had to rebuild part of my life, post narc. but, it was worth it. i now have peace.

they are clowns.

March 12, 2012 - 1:19pm

Narcs love FB

Facebook is narc heaven! The ex narc I met was a casual acquaintance who initially friended me on FB. That's where the trouble started. I have since realised he is a FB predator. It is ideal for them as they can paint the image of perfection on it, post things to make them look cool, also can get to prey on their victims and stalk them and also triangulate where they openly flirt with other women when they know you can see their profile. FB is narc heaven. I unfriended but wished I blocked. He kept popping up all over mutual friends posts. However it's coming up for nearly 2 years now and I think he's finally off the radar! Phew! It's hard not to peek but try and keep well away from FB if you can at the moment.

January 6, 2017 - 1:07am (Reply to #11)

You Can "Block" a Narc AFTER they have Blocked you on Facebook

I found out you can "block" someone AFTER they have blocked you on Facebook and even people you are not friends with such as the Narc's friends who may be able to see parts your site.
Go to: https://www.facebook.com/settings?tab=blocking
- In the "Block Users" box type in the name of who you want to block (don't worry if name does NOT pop up, it won't if they blocked you first OR you are not friends with them).
- After you type in name click the "Block" button. The name or list of same names will show and you can then click on the name of "your" narc and friends even his new "supply" and block them all.

It's not petty. It takes the power from the narc who "decides" when he can "unblock" you. Also "his" friends who may be spying on you. Very often you have no idea if a narc is unblocking you unless you are constantly checking.

If you want "No Contact" you can run into the problem of a narc stealth unblocking you, waiting 48 so he can re-block after he sends a nasty message you can't reply to because HE controls the blocking.

Well give him a surprise he doesn't expect as he sneaks out of blocking you (such as when you are asleep) he will discover he can't "find" you on Facebook. He may think you closed your account. Or it may take him awhile to figure out that you BLOCKED HIM. Either way you take some of the power away from him and his friends.

March 12, 2012 - 9:57am

Aww yes......Facebook

That really was the beginning of the end. It made me literally sick to see him flirting with his old high school sweethearts. He didn't have one single picture of me on there. A lot of him though. Mostly he talked about his home-made beer, he's very proud to be an alcoholic. Sure enough, during one of his silent treatments he flew back to see a woman. I sent him a FB message that said "I hope you find what you are looking for!" He then blocked me from his page.
Then there are his Flicker pictures he posts on the local chatroom. After the breakup, his ex-wife's picture appeared so I sent him an email asking him to remove my pictures. He said "Sure! but just so you know the old ones drop off as I add new ones". I replied "LOL! Just like your women, they drop off as you add new ones!"

March 12, 2012 - 8:28am

the perfect forum...

There are articles and research on this subject...facebook is the ideal forum for narcissists...my ex posts all sorts of things so his 1500-2000 "friends" can see how clever and happy he is...so they can tell him what a great dad he is...his girlfriend and he post while they are together about what they are doing at that moment (weird) Its all about having a very convenient/captive audience that the narc can control and put forward the person they want everyone to believe they are.

February 12, 2017 - 12:38pm (Reply to #8)

wow

I can totally relate to this, my ex has sooo many friends and so many selfies and pics of accomplishments so people think hes so great, the great dad, great entrepreneur, successful. and the whole time we were together not many of me. We took many vacations together and he would take selfies no one would ever know I was even there, to keep his potentials on the back burner I'm sure

March 12, 2012 - 1:32am

facebook is the perfect

facebook is the perfect platform for them to torture old supply. I didnt realise it at the time but thats what the ex did to his ex wife when he met me... it must have really stung her ... in fact he told me she had said she hated that she had been replaced.... so she must feel better now knowing that it wasnt her it was him! and that all those pics were lies before the mask fell.

March 11, 2012 - 6:55pm

Wow

Wow, those "friends" better watch out. If he goes through girls as quickly as he does friends, they may find themselves mysteriously out of the loop in another 6 months! Shady.

I guess, all the new pics are supposed to convince his new supply that she's different! THIS time, it's real! lol

Good for you, for telling his friends that you don't want or need constant updates on your ex's life. Thanks, but no thanks! They, too, will be cycled out soon enough, and you'll probably never hear from them again.

March 11, 2012 - 7:21pm (Reply to #5)

I know the answer...

but I just need to hear it sometimes. She isn't different right? It still hurts that I wasn't "worthy" of an engagement ring or marriage. Although it was me who was always delaying that part (I think I realized something was off). He's just trying to hook her before she realized how messed up he is right?

March 11, 2012 - 6:54pm

Everything is about "looks"with them.....

...and make no mistake, he wants everything to look like he is oh-so-happy now so obviously everything was YOUR fault. Plus, it's an easy way to further make you feel like garbage. It's a win-win for Mr Disordered, in his disordered mind.

Same stupid behavior, different PD. They are all the same.

love~ Layla

March 12, 2012 - 12:10am (Reply to #3)

layla

you are so effing s m a r t! yes totally agree w u. its why most of them leave their pages "public"

when i was in t #1 position my N said that he enjoyed making people jealous with our pics bc i was "so gorgeous" im sure he's tell the new #1 that now...

they don't fool me w those pics of them. his smile is fake. she doesnt know whats about to hit her the minute she doesnt make the right move and the 3 month mark hits.

then he'll just erase all their pics and move on to new supply, just like he did w me. altho he may hang on to this one for a while to make sure his friends think he's a 'good guy'.... i may have done some damage to his reputation.

pathetic.

March 11, 2012 - 7:44pm (Reply to #2)

how

Do I stop caring what people think about me? I was very close with his family and friends. I often wonder what they think. I'm sure he's said terrible things about me. But to the average person, that behavior is crazy?!! So maybe they see it. I don't know...ugh.

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