One year since discard

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#1 May 28 - 6PM
Sallygirl
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One year since discard

It has been one year since I was discarded. I am one year NC. I have learned so much in this year. Just to give you a little history: I had a 10 year relationship with a Narc. I experienced the love bombing, future faking, gas lighting, silent treatment ….devalue and discard. In my mind he was my one and only to ride into the sunset with….After the discard I was so confused and wondered why I stayed with this jerk for so long - felt sooooo stupid and duped by an idiot. I had lost myself - I didn’t know who I was. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I found this website and I read Lisa’s book a couple of times and took the support group with Goldie. Goldie will tell you that I did my homework LOL!!! But it worked!! I turned myself around. I began to work on myself and slowly stopped spinning about the Narc. Now when the Narc comes to mind, I am not on the fast spin, but just the lazy river spin and I can get right off. I say to myself…I just wasted 30 seconds of my life thinking about a fool.

Through my recovery on the path forward…..I looked into my family of origin issues. I never would have done that if I this hadn’t happened to me. From the outside you would not have thought I had FOO issues, but there was a missing piece in my childhood that was key to me. Realizing this has explained so much in my life, not only why I stayed with the Narc but other areas too. I have learned so much and I am so much happier and content. So much more confident. I have learned to set boundaries. I have learned to value myself. I have read some about co-dependency because that was me! I made myself a vision board and I have in the center the face of a tiger. That is me now, the tiger….I am steely eyed, strong, wise, top of the food chain, beautiful. It is in my bedroom next to my bed so when I wake up I see my vision for myself.

It is uncanny how now I can spot a narcissist a mile away.. hahaha!

During the support group we were asked to think of things we like to do….and one of mine was to entertain…so I decided to do just that. I just turned 60 and threw myself an awesome birthday party. I was surrounded by my friends and we all had the best time. I felt loved.

I started to work out at a gym and I feel stronger every day….like the tiger :) I still have lots to work on….I am still discovering who I am. I had totally lost myself with the Narc. I still sometimes have a disconnect with my feelings. But I am trying to make each day count and love my life just as it is in the moment. Trying not to worry about what others think. I am not so afraid of being lonely, I am lonely at times, but I am not afraid of it. There is hope for us Narc survivors…because I am proof. I wish that I could have learned all of this earlier in my life, but I am thankful that I am learning now.

BTW thank you Janie53 for the Daily Inspirations!!

I am sending love to all.

May 31 - 8AM
Janie53
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Sallygirl-

May 29 - 11AM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

I just wasted 30 seconds of my life thinking about a fool....

May 29 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
spinning
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Ditto! What a great, great

spinning

May 29 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
talktothehand
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Learning