Mr. FibLips

Today is the the I am sharing my story. I met Mr. FibLips in law school in our second year. He was nothing to gush over and my attraction was his brains and quick wit. He seemed so secretive and cagey and unlike the loving open men I have been with in my past. I can't really call him a 'bad boy' but he was a fat bald Italian guido. Like so many other stories on this forum they start off dashing. We were just friends first and he was there after my boyfriend of 9 years ended it because of my being unavailable due to the pressure of my first year of law school and he being 3,000 miles away. I should have known and seen the red flags but like SOO MANY I hit the ignore button and looked past those signs.

Our *first* real date involved a limo driver picking me up at my house without him being in the car--weird that we had to go back to his house to pick him up. So we were headed to the richest area of my city I mean were the huge 5 million dollar plus mansions were housed. My first thought was WTF whose house it this? The lights in the mansion were dark and out he comes in his suit hops in the limo and filled with his usual bravado. The entire dinner he ran the show, spoke and I hardly got a work in edgewise. In addition, I found out he didn't take the final exams I took and was given an *extra* week and stupid me talked about what was on the exam not knowing this.

He told me he was divorced. Another flag. I have always believed the divorce file tells me the story of what kind of man/woman they are. My experience has been more motions and commotions more drama, more hurting. I listened, he said his was done amicably and they are 'good friends' well I will believe that when I see it.

After the first date no good night kiss, he shook my hand--WTH really, that was again to weird for me. So I was up that evening couldn't sleep. What was wrong with this man, why the show of the multi million dollar mansion? Was it his friends home? He said it was his "little shack" maybe the pool house. I ran the records (yes I don't trust many of these guys) and saw his divorce in the court records. Dumb idiot never finished it, so he wasn't divorced. BIG LIE Numero Uno. Next I ran the house deed, guess whose name is on the deed where the county recorder sends the tax information? Yeah him, but he was NOT the grantor or grantee, meaning it wasn't his home. BIG LIE Numero Dos.

When final exams were graded he got the top grade for the class that I stupidly told him what I was tested on, I had NO IDEA the professor would give him the same damn test. He acted like the top grade and AmJur was meaningless like he didn't care, but he did--he is ALL about competition. Then it propelled me in that cycle to compete against him. I was fine in my first year, was in a different section than his and those people were normal but the evening people were different many had something to prove and this one had to also be the star of the show.

I didn't confront him about the deed or divorce, I kept it to myself. Thinking who would lie about this OR maybe he is like those other people that use legal zoom they just don't know how to finalize the divorce. Sadly this was the time I was being sucked in by the charm. There was no sex for over 10 months, I wondered why he didn't and wondered if he was gay. The second I asked him about that, THEN he had to prove his manhood to me. It was hands down the worst sex I had in my life. I stayed awake the entire night in remorse laying there quite and listening to him snore.

Our relationship was a horrible roller coaster. When I first asked him about the divorce and the home, well you can guess what he did. Yup went into the rage of how can you do that? Only psychos do background checks and you need mental help if you are looking online for that. Of course then he backpedals with his--oh I said I filed the divorce not finished it. He doesn't live with the wife, she has her own home as I did look that up. But at this juncture I just did't trust him. I got dumped my first time and it hurt. I got the "I don't know what I want in my life" and apparently that was me. Funny, he did it three days before final exams so I naturally couldn't sleep and blew my evidence and remedies exam. My feeling was he did it to sabotage me. Well he came back like a bad penny, whining and crying that his pissy ex wife is such a b*tch--then swarmed back in. My self esteem went from sh*t to sh*ttier and something in me was screaming save yourself.

Break up number two came on when he got the news his oldest golden boy was a heroine addict and he and wife needed to go to marriage counseling and work on the married for the kid. Kicked to the curb again, I moved out of the evening law student section to the afternoon section I couldn't stand to see him in class anymore. Like avery other narc like FibLips he went back for more mind games and my weakness allowed him back. He was ruthless in moot court that I was embarrassed to the point I wished they put me on another team. I got through that but he was mad because although we won a top spot he wanted to win all the rounds and never let me live that down.

Last year of law school came to an end quickly, he and I like so many signed up for BarBri for our bar exam. Then the fight of all fights occurred. Out there in front of all the students he had a classic narcissist rage--it was text book just like the ones I have read about in many open letters, the books and every website. He was PSYCHO *squared* and hauled off on me. I had driven with him and left him there and decided I needed bar study in another venue. There went the first real NC with him--except he was psycho angry with me. I had such difficulty studying, I couldn't focus and decided to give myself some time off and opted for the February bar far from him.

Yes, he tried to play the sorry card after his bar exam in August (4 month NC) but little did I know he met Mrs. Frizzle and NOW he wants his divorce and me to do his paperwork. Mrs. Frizzle was a "Doctor" and "Smarter" than me (knife in the gut twice) like it wasn't good enough to graduate top of my class summa cum laude there is always someone better. I couldn't handle it, I was becoming the jealous cow and I never was with the ex-wife like I was with this one. He introduced her to his family, his friends and I was the secret. He even introduced her to his ex-wife-to-be who had also moved on with another man. It was November, I found this forum and did my second NC attempt. Did I sneak contact by checking the pass list for the July bar and jump for joy he wasn't on it? Yes.

So I decided to focus on my bar prep--revenge pass and get him and his ugliness out of my life. FibLips is a bad penny who keeps coming back and always at the wrong time. I couldn't change the fact of Day 3 he was there with 1,000 of us taking the test, but everyone from school disliked him so he was on his own he wasn't welcome to hang out with us. Sadly, by seeing him my day three wasn't very good and I kick myself by not having taken it in the northern half of the state. He should have been in the penal colony not me.

Fast forward to today. I finally had my scream back to him. I took it and took it and took it. Then he called the office claiming to be a client and whining he has a hearing next Tuesday and needed me to prepare his final divorce judgment. I did lose it and used the F word which I have always held my tongue. I got his nasty email when he called me bitter, me troubled, filled with drama and me needing professional help. Told me to look deep within and soul search blah blah get some recovery work and "realize the WORLD does not revolve around me" hahaha that was projection.

My anxiety attacks have come back and its hard enough worrying waiting for my bar exam results but I can't have any normal friendship with him as I have had with my former boyfriends. He has the screw loose and he will always find a way to watch me crash in burn with that vipers tongue. I called my sister in tears and not the first time when it came to him but I also knew it was time I can take advantage of this forum and work through the steps. I was afraid had I done it during my bar study I would not be focused 100%.

Thanks you for listening its been hell knowing Mr. FibLips.