Goldie's Blog

Narcissists are Emotion Plagiarizers/Goldie

Emotional Plagiarizers, meaning they USE and suck from others what they have SEEN or learned works.

They steal/borrow suck dry the emotions of others including yours.

Women apparently like romantic songs, poems, gestures and so on.

Soulmate, as one, meant to be.....

They mimic what they see working and what is EFFECTIVE.

Like an investment banker.

Does it net profit/results or not?

If they put out; they expect/demand a payoff/result.

This is why they, so called, change/NOT.

They did not so much change as they paid their insurance premiums with you.

Love bombing, romance, kiss assing, and so on

Them changing is still them.

They paid up front, now you are expected to do the same.

To be clear.

Why is UNDERSTANDING it, often, so difficult?

Step One: Understanding it (them)

When in a relationship with a PD, trying to figure it out and get to, just WHAT is going on with them, with yourself, and the relationship is often just one big bundle of confusion and pain.

We try to talk it out with them and that doesn't seem to get us anywhere.

We may ask others if they can make any sense of it, many simply say: if you are not happy or he is treating you badly, then just get out of it. Stop seeing him, move on, be done with it, he is not worth it, you deserve better, there are so many other guys out there who may really love you and be good to you.

Sounds good, YET, you may still FEEL or THINK, that there must be some answers, solutions, CURES.

Sisters:

Women helping women. Women loving women.

I have heard many women say, they get along much better with men than they do with women. Some say they don't trust women. Many women with the N are jealous or bitter towards the OW. The Narc gives you so little that it may be easy to fall into this trap and blame the OW for what he is doing or not doing. Easy to think he must love her more or perhaps she is better than you somehow, not the case. She is just like you in many ways.

There may be a variety of reasons why some women don't like or trust OW, in general.

My father was a N/P and my Mom drank to deal with the pain of his cold insensitive cruel ways.

Facebook tracking him, keeps you hooked.

We have all done it so don't beat yourself, however, the truth of the matter is the longer you feed that wolf, the longer you will struggle with your feelings of bruised ego and of course you continuously get retriggered when you see something new and engage in HIS life or his "people's lives" vicariously.

In answer to a member out 4 months (NC) and feeling intense sadness and wanting to die.

You are grieving

Real grieving does not even begin until the cognitive dissonance die's down. This is why it seems to take so long to recover from a PD.

Depending on how long you stay in c/d determines when the real inner work and grieving begins.

A necessary step in letting go and eventually moving on.

We are not taught how or encourged to grieve in this society.

Especially when it is over someone deemed to be unhealthy or bad for us.

Many tell us that we are lucky to be done with them. Find someone better. He was a sicko anyways, ect.

So we often feel almost guilty to grieve. Ashamed for grieving a bad man.