Narcissist Recovery Blog

Schedule a One-on-One Session with Lisa

Great article on John Mayer by Melinda Tankard Reist

In an interview in this month's Playboy, John Mayer says he can't keep his hands off himself. Giving new meaning to narcissism, Mayer says he prefers an intimate night in with his computer to a night out with a real live woman.

Even when he's with a real woman, Mayer confesses he is just using her as a masturbatory aid while porn images and stories run through his head. To Mayer, women are only a means to an end: his own, self-assisted, big bang.

Here's an extract:

MAYER: ...pornography? It's a new synaptic pathway. You wake up in the morning, open a thumbnail page, and it leads to a Pandora's box of visuals. There have probably been days when I saw 300 [naked girls] before I got out of bed.

PLAYBOY: What's your point about porn and relationships?

Grieving the Narcissist

I am often asked how long it will take to get over a narcissist. Grieving the loss of a relationship with a narcissist is not the same as one with a healthy well-adjusted adult. The process has many stages and can only be understood by those who have been through it.

In a typical breakup, we grieve the loss of love, the pain of saying goodbye, the sadness of something wonderful ending, broken promises and halted dreams.

When grieving a narcissist, this pain is compounded by the reality that this person never loved you. He targeted you. He put on an act and hypnotized, brainwashed & manipulated you for a deliberate purpose: to seduce and control you. And it was for a specific reason: to ensure you would be present to stroke HIS ego and cater to HIS needs.

Always Remember WHY the Narcissist Picked Us

repost:

I want to bump up this post by Mariline as I believe it is so important we remember why the narcissist chose us. Too often, we are made to feel we should have known better, we were 'stupid', 'naive', 'gullibe' or we were "duped" easily by these narcissistic con-men.

No! We weren't.

I want us all to remember that they targeted us because we are caring, compassionate, intelligent, successful and independent women. We are not weak and naive as some would like to suggest.

A Narcissist Would Rather be Admired by Many than Loved by One

Narcissists hope for love and caring, but feel very uncomfortable if they seem to find it. Being in love makes them feel vulnerable and this terrifies them. They doubt the authenticity of real love and devalue anyone who loves them because they believe that person, like themselves, can never live up to their expectations of perfection.

Narcissists cannot grasp the concept of unconditional love that includes the acceptance of flaws. Love does not sustain them. Instead it feels unsafe. Admiration feels safer because it can be earned through achievements and credentials. Since these are things the narcissist can control, they feel much safer being admired, rather than loved.

White House Party Crashers - Narcissism Unhinged!

Has it really come to this? Really? Does this not prove my point that American society is absolutely out of control right now?! Bravo is currently considering this woman to be on "Real Housewives of Washington, D.C." I'm sorry, but if this person represents the women of our nation's capital, I am moving to Europe!@#?!

http://www.examiner.com/x-15966-Norfolk-Health-Care-Examiner~y2009m11d28...

Divorcing a Narcissist - Tonight on Blog Talk Radio

Tonight we will discuss the painful process of Divorcing a Narcissist. It seems particularly relevant today in light of Christie Brinkley’s announcement to the press that her ex-husband, Peter Cook, is an extreme narcissist.

Upon settling custodial issues in court today after months of disagreement, Brinkley made a statement to reporters. She said:

“"Google 'Divorcing a narcissist,'. "It will give you a lot of insight into what I've been going through for the past three and a half years.”

Society Celebrates Narcissism Again

I don't want to give him any publicity, but I have to vent. Not sure if you have heard of or read Tucker Max's book, "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell," but it makes me sick that it's been made into a major motion picture movie.

The author degrades and debases women and friends, acknowledging that he's a full-blown narcissist. Somehow, the masses have been entertained by all of this and he has fans lined up down the street to greet him (including WOMEN)!

It is a total celebration of narcissism, which makes my stomach turn. Why are people impressed by this man! Men want to be him and women want to sleep with him?! They flock to him.

Are You Dating a Narcissist? The Six Red Flags

Lisa E. Scott, author of "It's All About Him" will continue her discussion with book/messageboard readers on how to avoid or recover from painful relationships with narcissists.

http://allabouthim.com/are-you-dating-a-narcissist-the-six-red-flags/

In this week's episode, Lisa and Elena will discuss how to recognize a narcissist before you get involved & ultimately hurt.

Justin Timberlake Says No to Narcissism

I have a new found respect for Justin Timberlake. Recently he was expected to release a fragrance using his name. He declined by saying "there's some level of narcissism you have to put in check."

Wow, if I didn't have an opinion on him before, I am now in love with this guy for setting a good example. Rarely do you see celebrities take this kind of stance. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are the norm lately.

Thank you Justin for giving us hope that there are still men out there not yet destroyed by our culture's incessant narcissism. You rock!!!!!

Details below:

Justin Timberlake 'Won't Launch His Own Fragrance'
Published Sunday, 12th July, 2009 at Angryape.com

Always Remember Why The Narcissist Chose Us

I want to bump up this post by Mariline as I believe it is so important we remember why the narcissist chose us. Too often, we are made to feel we should have known better or we were "duped" easily by these narcissistic con-men.

I want us all to remember that they targeted us because we are caring, compassionate, intelligent, successful and independent women. We are not weak and naive as some would like to suggest.

Narcissists choose us because they know they can take a lot from us and gain tremendously by being in a relationship with us. These men want to be taken care of and choose only the best and the brightest to take care of them. For this, we should never feel ashamed. Angry, sure, but never ashamed.