Narcissist Recovery Blog

Schedule a One-on-One Session with Lisa

The Distinction Between Victim-Blaming and Owning Our Agency

I'm very happy to be sharing a guest blog from Shahida Arabi on the important topic of victim-blaming as I believe SELF-COMPASSION to be paramount to our recovery from a narcissist. Please share and help others find their path to recovery!

Shahida Arabi is a graduate student at Columbia University and the author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care, a bestselling Kindle book also available in print. Her interests include psychology, sociology, education, gender studies and mental health advocacy. You can check out her new blog, Self-Care Haven, for topics related to mindfulness, mental health, narcissistic abuse and recovery from emotional trauma.

The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care --> http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Girls-Guide-Self-Care-ebook/dp/B00JK86OAI/

Maya Angelou, Rest in Peace, Dear Phenomenal Woman, you touched me and millions of women globally.

I know she will rest in peace.
She was one of my rocks.
I loved her deeply.
She touched my soul and I know she knew my pain, struggles and confusion.
She was an angel sent by God to ease the suffering of women.
She taught me to stay in the game of life and lose my self pity.
To see the hearts of my sisters and know that there but the grace of God go I.
Her light and wisdom allowed me to become a better person.
Through her words of:

Hope
Grace
Strength
Courage
Truth
Peace
Freedom
Laughter and joy
Reverence of God
Love

Maya Angelou, You will be missed and treasured eternally.

God bless~
Goldie

A big thank you to Oprah Winfrey who introduced us to this phenomenal woman.

Why Detoxing From A Narcissist is Difficult

When with a Narcissist................

Often in the beginning, we feel special, lucky, chosen. Wow, he wants me and he wants me with such vigor. This must be love. Why else would he act so smitten so fast and "make me feel" like I am the center of his universe?

Once you FEEL this, this all encompassing "love" and attention, it's tough to LET GO of it, even years out, when you know there is much much more to the story of the so called, love of my life encounter.

Meanwhile, once HE has you hooked, he pulls back, he lets his hair down and begins to find fault in the very things about you which he claimed were your endearing traits. He may do this subtlety, it may be overt.

Generally in the preening stage, all he wants is YOU, someone like YOU.

The love bombing by a Narcissist

The love bombing by a Narcissist

Is our first clue that something is wrong.

"Healthy" people have lives. They don't have time to engage with you around the clock in the beginning.

Yes, many of us mistook the constant attention for love.

It is not. It is fake. A huge red flag. Not healthy. Bad sign. Manipulative. Needy.

I certainly don't have time to engage with someone to that extent either. Unless of course my co dependency and love addiction kicks in and I become obsessed with another and put myself and my needs on hold.

This is how the dance begins. Their manipulation and our fantasy thinking. Us wanting to believe that love means catering to us 24/7

Men know that some women have this need, desire, this fantasy of what love is supposed to look like.

NARCISSIST RECOVERY SUPPORT GROUP with GOLDIE Weekly support group recovering from a Narcissist.

NARCISSIST RECOVERY SUPPORT GROUP with GOLDIE Weekly support group recovering from a Narcissist.

http://www.lisaescott.com/blog/goldie

I have two Support Groups beginning soon to accommodate your schedules.

Great for new comers and old timers. I have all levels of recovery in group.

Wednesday evenings @ 8pm EST.

Tuesday days @ 1 pm EST. Also great for our UK and oversea's members. It's 6pm your time.

http://www.lisaescott.com/blog/goldie

Contact Goldie goldierocks@me.com

You may choose to participate days or evenings. The next available group will meet via secured teleconferencing line.

The sessions are for approx. 2 hours

NARCISSIST RECOVERY SUPPORT GROUP with GOLDIE

Scheduling a One on One with Goldie~Narcissist Relationship Recovery~Support

Scheduling a One on One with Goldie~Narcissist Relationship Recovery~Support

When scheduling your one on one, please provide:

Your time zone and

Exact Available times and dates (time ranges).

Many say, anytime is great. Due to time zone differences 2 am, may not work best for you. Lol. This is why I require exact times.

The sessions are an hour on the telephone.

Goldierocks@me.com

Some use Internet dial up services. I provide you with a phone number after you order your session. I use a secured landline.

Not necessary to send me your story unless we are working on mediation preparation work.

Look forward to speaking with you soon.

Together and Healing,
Goldie

Surviving the Female Narcissist - When It's All About Her

Are you in a relationship with a woman obsessed with her image? Is she consumed with her needs to the exclusion of all others? Do you feel you can do nothing right in her eyes no matter what lengths you go to please her? Is it…ALL ABOUT HER…all the time?

If so, you may be in a relationship with a female narcissist. My third book, "Surviving the Female Narcissist - When It’s All About Her” will help you understand the personality of a female narcissist and why a relationship with someone like this will eventually drain, exhaust and confound you.

Happy Easter to our Forum Members and Readers, and to their Families

Easter is one of my favorite holidays. It is a renewal time; a rebirth. A time to RISE AGAIN.

We all have an opportunity here to move forward on the PATH FORWARD and although it is a long winding road at times. Together we can do what we cannot do alone.

When I came here over 4 years ago. I was defeated, depressed, and actually questioning myself as to how I was going to make it out of this mess I was in and if I even had the strength to do it this time.

Will the Narcissist treat the Other Woman better than me?

I have a question for you, what is your truth?

I am asked this question daily, will the narcissist treat the other woman better than me?

What if he did?

What does that mean?

Even if someone prefers to treat someone better than you what does that say about them?

What does that say about you?

Honestly, my x narc could treat the next woman like a queen, a goddess, and it still has nothing to do with me.

I grew up with a father who ignored me (could not see me) and treated my ordinary sister like a queen, goddess, and so on.

For years I could make no sense of this and it hurt my feelings.

Reality check: The clock keeps ticking

A very good friend of mine passed away yesterday.

She was not ill, not battling a devastating disease.

No. Less than two weeks ago when she was leaving her job at the library she tripped and fell. Her hands were full with book bags--no surprise, she was curious about everything--so she was unable to do much to cushion her fall. She feel forward, on her face. Suffered a broken nose, broken jaw and more injuries I cannot even think about.

Her husband was waiting in their vehicle outside. As always, he was picking her up from work. The entire thing took seconds to unfold, and he saw all of it.

"Guard Your Heart"

"Guard your heart."

This is where the problem lies for us. Still looking for approval, water if you will, from the dry well. This is what got many in the problem in the first place. Looking for approval from our dad's (a normal expectation) and the bf/husband (again, a reasonable want and hope). They didn't have it to give. Not in a way that we found comforting.

Some may have lost their Mom's or they were emotionally absentee or roller coaster in personality.

I have been there. Wanting so badly to receive the support from the men in my life. Yet it was not in the cards.

After feeling the pain and releasing it. Acceptance becomes the key. And a strong resolve to never ever put ourselves in a position to look for approval to that extent outside of ourselves again.