Goldie and The Path Forward support group will help get you where you really need to be - dealing with the pain. Now, I realize that being in the "midst of pain" does not sound all that appealing, but that's half the problem with our culture.
We have been so conditioned to avoid pain and seek pleasure when the reality is that life is an undeniable combination of BOTH Pain & Pleasure. The sooner we accept this, the sooner we are on our way to finally healing.
Countless songs and poems have been written about how pain does not exist without pleasure and pleasure does not exist without pain so why are we fooled into thinking we can achieve all or nothing in this regard or any regard for that matter.
We have to stop thinking in extremes - black and white thinking is not healthy. Events in our life should not be all good or all bad, all right or all wrong. They can be somewhere in the middle, and to be honest, that's really what we should expect. We should never expect perfection.
In today's modern society, we have been taught to avoid pain altogether and seek only pleasure. Since this is an impossible thing to do, it has led to a myriad of creative ways people have found to avoid their feelings. Some may obsess about an intrusive thought that is completely irrelevant to how they actually feel. Some may use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain.
Whatever we do to avoid our pain only keeps us stuck. Until we work THROUGH the pain and GET IT OUT, we will remain in a state of numbness or pain and never experience the clarity and liberation we truly deserve.
The fact is that pleasure and pain both exist!!! We have been so conditioned in life to avoid pain and seek pleasure. As a result, we enage in obsessive thinking so we can avoid confronting the painful reality of our situation. We use the recurring thoughts to distract ourselves from what we really need to confront and process – our feelings!
"Pain and pleasure, like light and darkness, succeed each other." ~ Laurence Stern
Some of us avoid our feelings by identifying too much with our mind - we over-analyze and over-think everything. I know I am guilty of this, and Cognitive Dissonance contributes to this phenomenon. What we don’t realize is that we are unconsciously obsessing in an attempt to avoid our pain. Instead of allowing ourselves to feel, we distract ourselves by getting caught up in obsessive ideation that is completely irrelevant to how we're truly feeling.
Thing is.....nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.
We can lie to ourselves or run all we want, but the lesson will keep returning in different forms and manifestations until we learn what it is trying to teach us about our reality. The very first noble truth the Buddha points out is that suffering is inevitable in human beings. It is part of the human condition. We cannot avoid it.
We must accept suffering and open our hearts to look at how weak we are being by trying to avoid it. Only then can we discover that the very thing that terrifies us is in fact a way for us to reconnect with our true self. Facing reality shows you who you are and what is true. Facing our fear and waking up tells us something about ourselves. We must get to know fear, become familiar and intimate with it. It teaches us something. When we stop running and don’t act out, repress or blame, we encounter our true self.
Trust me - confronting your pain is not easy, I know this firsthand. However, you can waste years of your life stuck in darkness or you can get on the forward path now and work THROUGH the pain.....work the Six Steps!!!! All of them, not just the first 3, which this forum is particularly helpful in doing thanks to our fabulous Moderators and all you supportive members!!!!
As Goldie says, "Together we can do what we cannot do alone."
This forum is an excellent way to work Steps 1 through 3, but to work Steps 4 through 6, you really need a more intense support system. As part of Goldie's support group, you will help each other find the courage and the strength you need to process your pain, get real, wake up and heal. You know you will remain stuck if you do not confront your pain.
If you are sick of wasting all your energy moving around Steps 1-3 and want to finally move forward, join Goldie's support group now so you can finally break free!!!! You owe it to yourself!!!!
Love & Light,