The Dance of the Narc: Delight, Devalue, Degrade, & Discard

goldie's picture
May 10, 2012 - 8:36am — goldie

The Dance of the Narc: Delight, Devalue, Degrade, & Discard

Education, understanding, & acceptance is your POWER and FREEDOM

Once you get who and what they are; YOU then make a CHOICE.

Do I want someone in my life who is USING me and has no LOVE or VALUE for me OR do I want myself and my life back?

They do NOT change, they do NOT care about you and eventually they will destroy ALL that is real, good, and valuable in your life.

They are blood sucking vampires, vultures, maggots, parasites looking for a host.

Do you want to be a host?

This is a choice, either you cut your losses, call it a day, and go NC.

OR......

You go a few more rounds and let then take MORE.

They usually come back for more even years later. The HOOVER is NOT a compliement.

We do not NEED them, we are looking for love. They need us because they are looking for supply.

NC may be painful for a short while, YET, it is nowhere the pain of staying with them and allowing them another crack at your soul.

They are relentless and will not stop until every last crumb is taken from your table.

Break YOUR addiction to them by going No Contact, NC is freedom from bondage.

They do not want YOU; they want what YOU have.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and CALL it a day from the narc.

YOU WILL have a better way of life if YOU want it.

There is NO quality life with a Narc.

GO NC TODAY!

Together we can do what we cannot do alone.

God bless,
Goldie

For additonal support, to join one of our support groups, or to speak with Goldie directly, http://www.lisaescott.com/blog/goldie

Comments

Lisa Mitchell's picture

blood sucking vampires

May 22, 2012 - 10:00am — Lisa Mitchell

This is so true when I meet my Narc I had a home money in the bank a great job wonderful family and he took it all or I should say I let he take it all in the beginning I believed every thing he told me and it was'nt until I lost every thing that I took off my rose colored glasses and saw him for who it really was a liar,cheat,thief and drug addict who cares about no one but himself and what he can get from others. Today I've taken my life back and it feels great!

LoserFree's picture

Actually my blood is the only

May 22, 2012 - 10:06am — LoserFree

Actually my blood is the only thing the vampire didn't take from me.

But had I of stayed longer that would have been next...... so he could finish me off.

LoserFree

anasdia's picture

Loser Free

August 20, 2012 - 4:54pm — anasdia

Loser Free. I love it! Good mantra for those sentimental times.

Rising Dawn's picture

Yes, you all deserve better!

May 20, 2012 - 10:50am — Rising Dawn

I went way too many rounds for my own good, because he convinced me that our relationship was progressing, but I was just being played. He made me think that I was special, made me wait for him while he worked through his issues (he couldn't commit to me for a series of reasons, all bs), but it turned out I wasn't the only one. He lied to my face about other women, and the whole time, to make himself feel better, he teased me that I was picking up random men, and I was a huge flirt, when in fact, he was the one doing all the stuff he accused me of. I should have realized that all his friends who happened to be women he talked about casually were probably somehow involved in his web of lies; they probably don't even know they are victims. The nerve of that man to tell me about them and pretend they were just "friends" - disgusting.

Thinking about it makes me ill, but it makes me pity him too; because he can't stand to be alone, and he has to exploit other people to be able to feel anything. It's really pathetic. It is absolutely essential to go NC if you want your sanity and freedom back. They are parasitic and they won't stop till they drain the life out of you if you don't catch on.

So to everyone, you all deserve better. You are better than him, and you can do better than him.

petite7heaven's picture

Yes to NO CONTACT!

May 15, 2012 - 6:52pm — petite7heaven

Thanks Goldie for your powerful words. I get stronger and stronger everyday with NC. Blessings to all on your jouney!

eyeswideopen35's picture

Perfectly said, thanks

May 11, 2012 - 12:12am — eyeswideopen35

Perfectly said, thanks Goldie, I get really excited when I see you have posted something or replied to a thread, because I know whatever I read will be exactly what I need to hear and it will be delivered with love, care, and empathy...
I noticed lately you have been replying to a lot more threads, that is so awesome, we truelly get so much wisdom and comfort from your words so thank you....xo

invisible's picture

The Dance of the Narc

May 10, 2012 - 11:16pm — invisible

I recently found this page and am still learning. I never met a narc (that I know of) I married young and my late husband was a wonderful man and any other guy I dated, when things started to go south we would say our goodbyes and that was it. I'm still on friendly terms with most. Then came the narc, I was sweet talked and then D&D. I've been thinking it was my fault. Now I realize he didn't dump me for her (lied about it and kept seeing me when he could), he dumped me for her cash. I actually feel sorry for her. I've never known someone to be so evil

legacy123's picture

Like it Goldie! I like the

May 10, 2012 - 7:21pm — legacy123

Like it Goldie! I like the truth. While I wasz rffeading this I started visualizing his lying face. Would love to throw a creamy pie in his face right now! He doesn't like to be dirty so a creamy pie would do! Thanks Goldie for telling it like it is!!

Jillie's picture

Love the Title!

May 10, 2012 - 7:20pm — Jillie

I have just had contact with my estranged NPD husband (who abandoned me for another woman!). The conversation was about some mundane business but nonetheless, the entire communication was so difficult!! He is impossible to communicate with clearly. And I lived with that for most of 14 years! No contact is hard...but healthy for you.

Monarch's picture

I Choose...

May 10, 2012 - 6:01pm — Monarch

I choose NO CONTACT from now on and forever! I'm beginning to find who I am again and not who the parasite wanted me to be, an object for him to DD and D. Thank you. This site is a life saver. Truly.

sexy72's picture

YAY!!!!

May 11, 2012 - 9:25pm — sexy72

ME TOO!!!! WAHOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Liladopted1's picture

It's been 1 year on 6/19/2012

June 2, 2012 - 11:54pm — Liladopted1

ME 2 sister!!!!!. My "N" gave me herpies, then had the balls 2 throw it n' my face. . . in "the end."

goldie's picture

Great News Monach

May 10, 2012 - 6:04pm — goldie

Good for you, you don't ever have to feel that badly with anyone again.

God bless,
Goldie

Sparrow's picture

I love this Goldie! The

May 10, 2012 - 3:24pm — Sparrow

I love this Goldie! The dance of the narc........perfect!

Allie's picture

Awesome post...

May 10, 2012 - 3:20pm — Allie

as usual Goldie, Thanks!! :)

chris53's picture

Bravo...well said! :-)

May 10, 2012 - 12:29pm — chris53

Bravo...well said! :-)

Canada's picture

Yes, yes and yes! I feel a

May 10, 2012 - 11:37am — Canada

Yes, yes and yes! I feel a million times better about myself and have a brand new and awesome life with NC! Finally have my power back!

xoxo Jules

Layla's picture

EVERY single word of this is...........

May 10, 2012 - 9:05am — Layla

TRUTH!

love~ Layla

spinning's picture

Ditto, ditto, ditto,

May 10, 2012 - 10:28am — spinning

and underlined!

This is the absolute truth. I truly hope anyone who is still in the hell of a disordered relationship reads and re-reads this and feels the power of these words.

xoxo
(not) spinning. NO WAY. NEVER AGAIN!

sexy72's picture

I hope so too!

May 11, 2012 - 9:42pm — sexy72

Yes it is!!!! I hope so too (not) Spinning...once it clicks for someone there is NO going back!!!! I just say YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!!!!!! Anyone who educates themselves on this website and goes NC will get the power they need to heal and move on...all I can say is to those still in HELL... it takes time, but do the work and heal yourself by reading and educating yourself...and going NC..you have to except they will never change and they will only suck you dry in everyway possible...your love, kindness, money, life, sanity...everything...they really will this isn't just a bunch of women bitching about an EX...this is a bunch of women that have been to hell because they believed in love and they believed in someone with all their heart... and are working their way to find themselves again...some of us are just starting to dig out of the rubble and some of us are on top of the rubble and seeing the world again!!!! Even though we are all at different stages in our recovery, we are all here to support eachother and remind eachother everyday that we are ALL worth fighting for! EDUCATION AND NC!!!!

LindsayM's picture

Ignore,ignore,ignore..

May 27, 2012 - 11:39pm — LindsayM

I recently stumbled on this site my ex has only recently been bugging me he texts me, e-mails, and I ignore,ignore..... He keeps it up,up,up...... I was actually thinking of breaking NC saying dude leave me alone you are crazy but my sister said that only enrages a narc you never want to do that best thing you can do in a narc situation is ignore,ignore,ignore and eventually they will go away they might pop up here and there but you have to keep ignoring and not break contact ever and do not respond to those texts and do not listen those I miss you Linds or I messed up Linds it is a trap! Breadcrumbs!!!!! Narcs feed off of us they never want to be our " friends" they want to be our ego strokes or fallbacks hook-ups. NC and must not write that e-mail please as much as I want to tell him off for bugging me..... Willpower Lindsay!