Gratitude

April 28, 2012 - 4:47am — Used

As I sit here today counting my blessings,I think back to who bought me here, EXN, but when I got here I relized myexhn , my mother and so many NARCS I had had in my life, where all here, in every story on here every event on here, every hurt, I could identify with...
At first I went in to a depression, in that I looked at my life and thought I have wasted so much of it on these people who never loved me, as time went by I began to come out of it, so asked my self SO WHAT WAS MY PART IN IT...
I didnt like what I found out about my self, my demons my issues, and have spent this 2 half years, working on them....I have laid many a DEMON, and sorted many an issue...and for the first time in my LIFE I AM HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND HAPPY WITH MYSELF....
I have seen how, ONE ONLY GETS THE RESPECT THEY COMMAND,AND HOW RESPECT FOR ONE'S SELF COMES FROM WITHIN AND WHEN ONE HAS THAT THE REST WILL FOLLOW...
I have to take responsibility as well for allowing there behaviour and I do....
I LOVED ALL THESE PEOPLE ONCE....I NO LONGER DO.....
THEY ARE ALL OUT OF MY LIFE AND WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED BACK IN AGAIN....
What I have gained is so much insight into WHAT MAKES ME TICK....So for my own presavation ,I have to keep my self safe and I do......They are all still out there...THESE PREDATORS BUT THEY WILL NEVER BE PART OF MY LIFE AGAIN.....
TO END THIS BLOG, I WANT TO SAY A SPECIAL THANKYOU TO...GOLDIE, HUNTER, SPARROW, SPINNING , JOURNEY, AND OF COURSE LISA ALWAYS THE CONTRIBUTING FACTOR....COS NO LISA NO FORUM, NO US HEALING DAY AFTER DAY.....
THE MODS ARE SO SPECIAL IN MY LIFE, THAT I CONSIDER EACH AND EVERYONE OF THEM MY FRIEND, AND THAT THEY WANTED ME BACK AS A MOD.....TODAY ...MY CUP RUNNETH OVER......USED.X

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Your journey

June 2, 2012 - 9:41am — TruthbeginsToday

your journey sounds so much like my own except that you are further along..meaning that I know about my N/P but I'm only beginning to see my mother and family and trying to break free from it's effects on me. I read your posts..trying to find my way. It's so painful...but I thank you for your posts. Any thing you offer will be greatly appreciated.

You guys inspire me! thank

May 9, 2012 - 10:02pm — lali876

You guys inspire me! thank you so much!

With deepest respect and

April 30, 2012 - 12:01pm — Sparrow

With deepest respect and regard. I have found a friend in you as well and am very glad I did.

Funny how life works out huh?

Beautiful post my friend, and you are very very welcome, as I am thankful.

Smile always, life is truly good. :)

Thank you Used, what a beautiful blog

April 29, 2012 - 3:09pm — goldie

I love you too, you are a major part of my recovery. Gratitude, empowerment, and acceptance of self are the keys to the final stages of recovery and you have it Used.

God bless,
Goldie

Greatful for so much

April 29, 2012 - 9:22am — Reason2Believe

Including h aving found this wonderful forum and kind people to help me through this ordeal. Friends and family don't comprehend the pain I am feeling after 7 years with Wanna B. He was an escape, a comfort and an emotional roller coaster from hell, all rolled into one. Those who know me as a strong,vibrant,smart woman just tell me to move on and forget about him. I can forget about him, but it is what I put myself through that is not easy to overcome.

I do rejoice in the fact that I have so much to be thankful for. Health, family, friends, career, home....much of which he does not have, or if he does, it is minimal. I have been blessed with a positive personality and outlook- he is negative. I am grateful for those who enter my life - most are an inconvenience for him. Bottom line, I have a wonderful and truly blessed life. I only wanted to share it with a special someone, but somewhere the special got misinterpreted and Mr. I AM SPECIAL came on in!

I am even grateful for the good times we had,the friends I have met and finding my beautiful puppy while on a long weekend with WB ! Told you I am positive! LOL

Thank you, again , to all of you for your compassion and caring.

Reason

Excellent post.

April 28, 2012 - 8:10am — Layla

Hi used! This is where I sit right now in recovery..."What was my part in all this?"

Pondering this thought actually gave me a stronger sense of control back. I felt so powerless in the relationSHIT and I had NO VOICE...heck, I wasn't even allowed to "feel" or so it seemed. When I review my role in the disordered dance, I see where I handed over my power and sense of self all for the sake of "peace" and the hope he might one day see the light and love me. I see how this is a repeat of my relationship with my mother.

When I went No Contact last summer, I was scared, traumatized and beat. I went No Contact because I read that was the only way and to tell you the truth, I was a cornered mouse and I simply had no other options. I "tried" everything else and in eight years, nothing changed and nothing changed HIM. The lightbulb had truly gone on in my head, and I knew that I HAD TO CHANGE or this experience would be a repeat in my life over and over again. I got it! It didn't make these last 10 months easy, but I got it, and that's a start! : )

Love and gratitude to all of you on this forum. Lisa, Goldie and the Mod Squad, all of the members from the veterans to the newbies I continue to learn from EVERYONE here. Great post used!!!!

love~ Layla