Divorcing the Narcissist - Blog Talk Radio Show Tonight at 8pm CST

admin's picture
July 15, 2009 - 3:14pm — admin

Lisa E. Scott, author of "It's All About Him" will continue her discussion with book/messageboard readers on how to avoid or recover from painful relationships with narcissists. In this week's episode, Lisa and Elena will provide general insight on how the experience of divorcing a narcissist is different from divorcing a normal person. Tips on how to handle the narcissist during this process as well as how to maintain your sanity will also be provided.

Please join us at www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim

Comments

James's picture

Great show Lisa

July 18, 2009 - 11:38pm — James

Divorcing the Narcissist,

Having just heard Lisa’s blogtakradio on this week issue about divorcing the narcissist, I would encourage members to listen in. There were some very important points brought into the discussion during this session. The guest speaker also gave some great insight whenever one is having been put into a position whenever we found ourselves in the process of divorce. The speaker points out why one needs to separate one’s self from the other party concerning financial liability. Too many times victims and their children come away with great losses and bad credit.

My personal comment on divorce.

If one were to ask me or tell me about a pending divorce three years ago, I would have tried to talk to them to see if there was anyway the relationship and marriage could be save. I knew by my own personal experience how nothing is solved with divorce and/or that divorce only create more problems with both parties involved as well as concerns for any children involved in this union.

But after learning more about this disorder in 2006, I did a 360 degree turn around and changed my firm stand on saving a marriage. If one comes to me today and I seen and/or they relate a degree a abuse and a possibility that one might be involved with someone that suffer for a personality disorder I no longer encourage trying to save this union. I give them as much information as possible so that they can do their own research (for confirmation) and see if there are indeed personality traits that this person might suffer from some type of disorder. If they come back and still feel they might indeed be involve with this type of person I then encourage these options first and to do them asap.

If children are involve protect their interest and needs
then protect yourself.
Plan an emergency “exit plan” just in case
Seek legal counsel asap
Like Lisa has stated, journal journal and journal.
Keep learning and researching the disorder
Never tell them you think they suffer from this disorder, this can and should be done when your children and you are in a secure and safe place.

Then I wish them good luck and tell them they can count on me for any support.

Divorcing someone with a personality disorder will be the hardest thing you have ever done before in your life, so please expect the unexpected.

Great discussion Lisa and thanks!

http://james-personalitydisorder.blogspot.com/

faithful's picture

recently divorced--the tragedy of the disordered

July 30, 2009 - 4:04am — faithful

I would like to add that the while the personality disordered are difficult and frustrating to deal with, they are basically tormented humans. This is a genetic disorder, with an environmental basis, that could have afflicted any of us. Remember that it is an illness, not a choice. There is no medical cure. It is the responsibility of the healthy party to get away from the illness when it becomes apparent; sometimes that is the most difficult part because you have become "infected".

I believe that once we see the symptoms, we should distance ourselves for protection but remember we are dealing with another human, -- who is unhealthy. We must be aware how their illness affects us and learn to deal with it effectively; not react emotionally.

I do know now that my exhusband was the product of an angry divorce, abused as a child; then spoiled and expected to be perfect. He is the child who was torn between two fighting parents; trying to please both. He is a tormented and lost soul who cannot understand or give unconditional love and does not feel worthy of it. He is afflicted with guilt, shame and inferiority. He lives a life of delusions with no ability to experience a rich ,rewarding relationship with others.

I find this tragic and to be pitied; but I cannot be available physically or emotionally to be affected by his symptoms. When his symptoms worsened and his illness was revealed it explained so much; but again I had to remove myself. I agree that we must educate and protect but we must still realize that beneath the illness is a human who could have been anyone of us born into the circumstances that created it.

He is the father of my children and despite his illness and what it causes him to do , they will honor the life he gave them. I pray that I can teach them a healthy way to deal with his mind. Understanding and sympathy for his struggle and hisneed to control is a much healthier approach for US, than anger and fighting. We are learning to love the person, and hate this horrible illness. We, as parents, must do whatever we can in divorce, not to promote an environment that could lead to this in our children.

grossot's picture

Very good show. I'm so happy

July 16, 2009 - 9:29am — grossot

Very good show.
I'm so happy that there are strategies out there. I took notes!

Elena YES I can believe your N wanted you to move out after his affair! I lived through that too! I tried to tell him to leave but he kept coming back. So finally I moved in with my parents (thank God for them) and told the judge he kicked me out (which is true). The majestrate ordered that N pay all mortgage and bills in debt to the house (ie the. $ 8000 woodburner). Glad to hear you've survived this subhuman. I'm so thankful for you, lisa and Barbara. Looking foreward to the custody show!

Be kinder than necessary to everyone you meet; for everyone is fighting some kind of battle - anonymous- :o)
nolongercontrolled

Barbara's picture

splitting - divorcing the narcissist

July 15, 2009 - 11:54pm — Barbara (not verified)

an absolute must read for anyone about to or in the process of divorcing a Narcissist:
http://www.bpdcentral.com/bks/spy.php